Real Lies. Real Eyes. Realize.

If you ever wondered what the term “gas-lighting” means, look no further than Shaggy’s song, “It Wasn’t Me”. Here is a brief glimpse of the lyrics:

But she caught me on the counter (It wasn’t me)
Saw me bangin’ on the sofa (It wasn’t me)
I even had her in the shower (It wasn’t me)
She even caught me on camera (It wasn’t me)

She saw the marks on my shoulder (It wasn’t me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn’t me)
Heard the scream get louder (It wasn’t me)
She stayed until it was over

I’m not a fan personally.  In fact, the lyrics trigger feelings of nausea for me.  

However, it is the song I hear in my mind when I real-lies I’m being played, whether it be by an individual or a collective, such as an organization or social media. When you know what you see with your real-eyes is one thing and you are being told the opposite, that’s your raging red flag to detach from the source.

According to Psychology Today, Gas-lighting is a form of emotional abuse and psychological
manipulation. It involves tactics that warp someone’s sense of reality to the point where they doubt their own memory of events. 

Signs of Gas-Lighting:

  • Name-calling and stereotyping based on beliefs that every individual is entitled to hold

  • Not answering questions directly or getting a word salad thrown in your face.  Although you understand each word spoken they makes no sense at all

  • Deflection and personal attacks of your character

  • Diversion and shifting blame back to you or onto others

Not only is it important to recognize when gas-lighting tactics are being used on us, but we must EACH hold ourselves to a higher standard of awareness that we do not indulge in such demeaning tactics and inflict them onto others.

I try to be cognizant of all the information I’m consuming. There are some opinions I may cherish more than others. I’ve formed a habit of simply observing. I don’t form an immediate opinion or judgement. I don’t allow my current belief system to be modified.  I simply observe the information for consideration. 

I‘ve also created the “Three-P Process” for myself that I find helpful to maintain a healthy balance of observation and consideration of “truth”. When presented with information, I put it in one of three categories:

1. Possible

2. Probable

3. Propaganda.


The “Three-P Process” is helpful to maintain clarity in a very noisy world. Simple Truth: always trust your real-eyes. 

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