Detachment; Cold-Hearted or Self Love?

Decades ago a very spiritually enlightened person recommended I read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, so I went about getting myself a copy.

Well, I can’t tell you it was a page turner for me. In fact, I read one chapter and asked myself, “what is this guy even talking about?”. Then I promptly donated it. I just wasn’t getting it.

Almost 20 years later, I can tell you this much: It will resonate with you when you are ready.

One moment I feel as though I don’t understand something and in the next moment it’s as though I’ve been bonked over the head with enlightenment.  Suddenly, it’s all sinking and I GET IT.    

In 2022, Eckhart Tolle’s book A New Earth found me in a book exchange library in an RV park. It has since become my favorite book.  I’ve read it from front to back and back to front.  You can read the last chapter first and jump around or you can start at page one.  It will all come together in the end. 

It’s from the spiritual teachings of Eckhart Tolle that I have very recently gained a new understanding of the power of detachment. By detachment I don’t mean cognitive dissidence or being disassociated with what’s happening around me. In fact, it has increased my awareness and clarity. Detachment is a powerful tool to finding inner peace. 

How is it possible that all my problems are because of attachment? As I scrutinized my life, I realized it was true. My arguments with others emanated from attachment to my opinions. My anger was because of attachment to particular results that didn’t manifest the way I expected. The sadness I experienced when I lost objects was also a result of attachment. And most importantly, agonizing over the loss of people in my life was because of attachment. ~Elyane Youseff

Detachment is letting go of the need to control outcomes

Wanting to control an outcome is pure ego

Many of us can relate to witnessing someone we care for in a toxic situation. Perhaps the person is in an abusive relationship with any number of things; a romantic partner, a substance, a job, a family member, or even themselves! From the sidelines you’re watching this person make life choices that you truly believe are not going to end well.

The keywords here are “you” and “believe”. It’s none of our business what another soul chooses to do.  I’m not suggesting you don’t concern yourself with what others are going through. In fact, I believe it’s part of our spiritual duty to acknowledge circumstances and express our heartfelt concerns honestly and openly. But after we’ve done that, it’s time to detach from the outcomes of other people’s choices.   

Detachment is mastering the art of unconditional love

We don’t know the journey other souls agreed to before they incarnated. In times of adversity, our souls evolve and we begin to spiritually awaken. If you look around, you are likely to see a correlation that “awakened” people have often had to overcome immense trauma and adversity in this life.

There is a tremendous amount of emotional and mental freedom that comes from mastering detachment and unconditional love. Detachment empowers us to love others and ourselves unconditionally.   

Detachment is also an effective tool at managing anxiety. When we find ourselves worrying about a certain situation or outcome that we want to control but simply cannot, detach from the outcome and simply TRUST the Universe. Eckhart Tolle’s teachings give us guidance on how to live in the NOW.  Obsessing about past events leads to depression.  Worrying about future events creates anxiety.  Reminding ourselves to stay in the NOW is a useful tool to creating peace of mind. 

Remember: Trying to control an outcome is EGO. Wrangle that ego to the ground so you can exist in peace and allow the flow of life to happen as it should. It’s a form of self-love and you owe it to yourself. 

Interested in purchasing these books?  Consider Thrift Books & save money.  Thrift sells thousands of second hand books at the fraction of the price.  Read more. Spend Less. Click on Share Book Love and help me earn a free book!